January check-in

I simply cannot believe we are almost at the end of January 2020 already. This year is flying by! So many things in motion and so many plans I'm losing track of days and time!

If you have made resolutions, I hope you've stuck to them, but if you haven't it doesn't really matter. I just think it is such a shame when you say you will do something, and when you don't get round to it or can't do it then, you get disheartened and demoralised and give up. If you have a little slip up; it's okay, it's not failing, it's learning.

I made a point this New Year to specifically not make any resolutions for that purpose. I didn't want to give myself a list of unrealistic goals to fixate on and obsess over. I decided, simply, to embrace the New Year with a sense of positivity, determination and acceptance.

Of course I had ideas in my head of 'yes, of course I want to lose weight, who doesn't?' but I just stopped and realised, it doesn't matter if I lose weight, I will still be the same person in myself anyway, so I'll focus on that part of me instead. I figured, once I'd sorted me out, the rest would fall into place. In a weird way, it already has.

I've managed to reach my first milestone of losing 1 stone since New Years. Purely from cutting out crap food snacking.

I've been for my first eye test in years and got very kindly treated to some brand new specs (now everything is in HD and I'm not quite sure how I coped before).

I dove straight in with the crafts and have made some delightful creations, if I do say so myself.

I've already booked this years Christmas market (November 22nd, keep your diaries clear!) in Nottingham.

I have started my 6-Minute Diary which was actually a gift from my partner at Christmas that I've only just gotten around to starting. The purpose of the diary is to help you reflect on the important things without the pressure. You simply take a couple of minutes every day to have a think about what you're grateful for, make some realistic day goals, good deeds, things you're grateful for and just jot it down on the right page. The book basically helps you to adapt and incorporate positive strategies and routines in life that just help you feel a little bit happier in life. I just feel amazing because it's like, sometimes, I can get low and in a down mood and it is difficult to get myself out of such a negative mental space, but now I am literally reconditioning my brain, instead of overthinking and going to a certain scenario, to calmly rationalise situations, decide how I can positively impact it and just generally look on the better side.

I'm putting my phone on airplane mode at night and not turning it off until I've woken up, had a cup of tea and done a short meditation session. (That has only been for a few days and already I've noticed how much better I'm sleeping from not staring at a screen every second.)

I really want to write more about this diary as in just the few days I've been using it, it's really made a drastic improvement to my mood and mental health. So, if you're not sick of hearing it already, I will incorporate the diary into other blog posts and pay attention to the progression of my mental health

But I really pushed myself to my absolute limit, regarding anxiety, last weekend when I attended a local group by myself. Recently, I have taken to staying indoors a lot. My depression and anxiety certainly don't help, but I think I'm even more of a hindrance to myself as I tend to isolate myself a bit. Which, as anyone who has experienced mental health issues will probably understand, only makes things worse. I almost feared and dreaded leaving the house. My partner found a local group that meets weekly to have coffee and socialise and do some meditation together. As much as the idea sounded amazing, I was truly petrified at the thought of the entire situation. Long story short, through the panic attacks, sweating profusely and being a general anxious mess, I did it. I went along, stayed for the full duration, spoke to some new people and decided that I will be attending next week, too. I was incredibly proud.

I have done all of this within the first month of the year when I started the new decade with 0 plans, prospects or potential. And no resolutions.

Just goes to show that sometimes you can be your own worst enemy and that it's so important to get out of your own headspace sometimes and just evaluate the entire picture.

If you know of any awesome #selfcare books, please let me know! Any excuse to get a new book and add to my (hopefully, one day) library!

Basically this post is just a shout out to what a supporting and awesome boyfriend I have and how grateful I am that he cares. Love you, potato.

Overall, I'm feeling super duper positive and feel really good about 2020.

Enjoy some crafts I made.

Peace & love,

H.T.